SEE: Titans In
A Box!
Immortals (2011) 110 minutes
Directed by Tarsem Singh
Screenplay by Charles and Vlas Parlapanides
Staring: Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Freida Pinto, Luke
Evans and John Hurt
This film's poster should have a banner headline screaming: SEE: Titans In A Box!
The story, in brief:
The Heraklion king, Hyperion, has declared war on the
Olympian Gods and all mankind. To this
end he is searching for the Epirus Bow, a divine weapon that will allow him to
release the imprisoned Titans and with their help defeat the Olympians. Why?
Well, it seems that when his wife was stricken with a fatal disease
Hyperion called on the gods for help but his pleas went unanswered. So now he has decided to destroy the Olympians
and punish them
for ignoring his prayers. The gods are
listening now.
Mickey Rouke as King Hyperion
Not surprisingly the Olympians are disgusted by Hyperion’s
cruelty and disregard for the “accepted rules of engagement.” They are eager to teach Hyperion a lesson or
two but Zeus, in his infinite and unfathomable wisdom, has forbidden the gods
from intervening directly in the affairs of man. Zeus has instead selected Theseus as his
instrument for the salvation of mankind.
In this it would seem Zeus has chosen wisely.
The Olympian Gods, roused at last, prepare to battle the
Titans
Though of humble birth, whose mother is treated as an
outcast and father is unknown (it is said his mother was raped by other
villagers but there is every indication that Zeus is the actual father) Theseus
has grown into a mighty warrior strong of limb and stout of heart. The problem is that Theseus is badly out
numbered in every fight and is constantly in danger of being killed.
Zeus unleashes his anger on Apollo for intervening directly
to save Theseus
Luckily for him the gods are constantly breaking Zeus’
commandment (with and without his knowledge) and intervening in miraculous ways
to save Theseus from certain death. The
real question is: Can the Olympians save themselves from almost certain
destruction? That will be answered in
the all too obviously set up sequel.
Titans in
a box! The Titans endure
their strange imprisonment
Re-working myths is fine and it often serves to avoid all of
the carping about historical accuracy.
Certainly we have been treated to numerous versions of Homer's Odyssey
(including the rather imaginative version by the Coen Brothers with George
Clooney as Ulysses) or the Jason myth (the seminal 1962 film showcasing the
stop motion work of Ray Harryhausen being the noteworthy entry here). However ...
There is little here to recommend this latest re-working of
Greek mythology, and the level of violence is not so much gratuitous as it is
pornographic. As director Val Lewton so ably
demonstrated, less is often more, but here the director, Tarsem Singh, clearly
believes more is not enough.
Poseidon
considers the fate of Apollo for aiding Theseus
Costumes are by the famed Japanese costume designer and
fashion artist Eiko Ishioka, whose signature headgear is on display here from
the fanciful helmets worn by the Olympian Gods to the seemingly Time Bandits
inspired travel hats worn by the Sibylline Oracles. Ishioka-san won an Academy award for her work
on Bram Stoker's Dracula, and while
her designs for Immortals are
imaginative, and one of the film's better aspects, they are not served well by
the film itself. (For a better example of a fashion designer's costume work in
a feature film see The Fifth Element
with costumes by Jean-Paul Gaultier.)
One of the Sibylline Oracles in her “travel” attire
Likewise the acting and fight choreography are, at best,
ho-hum, though not from lack of trying.
The film is going for the look of 300
but unlike that earlier film (noteworthy for its faithful rendition of Frank
Miller’s comic book stylization) Immortals
is a
very pale imitation.
The production team for Immortals
appears not to have understood the parameters of that style unlike, for
example, the production team behind the Starz cable series Spartacus. The violence and
sex are so stylized in that cable series as to be almost cartoonish and thus
more easily dealt with by the viewer. Immortals, on the other hand, seems
caught somewhere between this highly stylized look and a gritty realism
(particularly with the violence) that leaves one confused, and not a little bit
disgusted by the cruelty that seems plainly out of place in a fantasy film.
Theseus fights with the Minotaur
The idea that Theseus fights not a literal Minotaur but a
man in a bull shaped helmet is not new but certainly works within the context
of this story. Likewise, I give the
actors credit for working hard with the material they are saddled with, but
therein lies the problem -- the story.
Zeus and his daughter, Athena
The story here, such as it is, does not engage the viewer on
any level deeper than the most superficial.
The film's director, Tarsem Singh, has said that what he is attempting
is:
"Basically, Caravaggio meets Fight Club. It's a really hardcore
action film done in Renaissance painting style. I want to see how that goes;
it's turned into something really cool. I'm going for a very contemporary look
on top of that so I'm kind of going with, you know, Renaissance time with
electricity."
All that being said, my disappointment with the film is not
that it plays fast and loose with the Greek myths or mixes together art and
artifacts from a dozen different eras/countries/cultures or even that the arms
and armor have little to do with ancient or even mythic Greece. This happens all the time in Science Fiction
and Fantasy and often to good effect (The
Lord Of The Rings comes to mind).
No, the problem here is that at its most basic level, Immortals is boring. It fails to engage us and indeed actually repels
us with its needlessly graphic splatter porn violence.
Theseus and his fellow Greeks prepare for the final battle
Immortals does
achieve the impossible by making Zack Snyder's 300 seem Oscar worthy.
My humble recommendation: Save your money - Wait for Immortals to play on cable TV, and then
watch something else.
Immortals is
currently playing in movie theatres and should make its appearance on DVD and
Blu-ray in the first half of 2012.
This review was first published on the Ancient Warfare Magazine website in November of 2011.
(c)2011 by David L Reinke
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